Let's talk about six specific tips to get used to peace after a long time of living in chaos. Last week was   an example of transitioning out of chaos and into peace, with the story of how winning in family court after seeing patterns of intimidation and what I interpreted as legal abuse for many years, completely rocked my world. This is the Transcript for Episode 15B . Here we get practical, but without too much detail, because episode 16 A and B is where I really go into t

There's a pattern I see in almost every autistic woman who escaped a relationship they describe as abusive, that involved narcissistic patterns. We say we want peace, we beg for it, we pray novenas for it, we talk about it. And when the abuse stops, because we moved away or because we won in family court, we reject that peace. We don't want it, we push it away. It's the strangest thing. It's hard to explain if you don't dive into the inner workings of the addition to chaos.

One of the hardest things for single moms who have lived through narcissistic abuse is how to heal from gaslighting, to then help our children trust their own inner signals. Because kids don't learn emotional intuition from lectures, they learn it from us. From watching how we read situations, how we respond, how we recover when things go sideways. And if you grew up in chaos or manipulation or if you married into it, your inner signals were probably rewired, dismissed, or pu

When you're parenting after trauma, especially trauma that involved the other parent, there are moments where your mind knows that you're safe now, that you made it out, that the crisis has passed... But your body and your nervous system don't believe you yet. This is the transcript for Episode 10 . Your heart is racing, your shoulders are up by your ears, you're pracing for impact, your stomach's tight, your thoughts get fast or blank or sharp; that's what happens when your

There is something that sits in the back of the mind for many mothers who co-parent with someone unpredictable or high-conflict: That court date you can't stop thinking about, or the custody review, or the mediation, the evaluation, or the email that might come at any moment. This kind of stress is not theoretical, it's not just anxiety. It's your nervous system responding to something with real weight, and you are not overreacting. Your body is responding to something that r

There is an important difference between rest and escape. Escaping is something the nervous system does when it doesn't feel safe. It's a survival response. So there's no shame here. We are simply learning to notice what is happening so we can take care of ourselves better. This is the transcript for Episode 8 . What rest looks like: Rest is something that reduces stress in your body. Rest feels like your breathing slows down. Your shoulders soften, your thoughts quiet a lit

Peace can sometimes feel wrong. Like your body doesn't know what to do with it. Like there's an addiction to chaos, which is something I'm going to be covering in Episode 15A through 16B. This is something that used to confuse me and still sometimes surprises me. This is the transcript for Episode 6 . If you've lived through chaos, emotional abuse, instability, constant conflict, your nervous system learns that tension equals normal. You don't even notice it happening, your

Life doesn't stop being hard just because you understand what's happening. Healing doesn't mean the chaos disappears. It means you get better at finding stillness while it's happening. There are still court papers, still emails that spike your heart rate, still moments when your child has a meltdown and you can feel your nervous system start to overload. This is the transcript for Episode 5 . These reactions in your body, are really your body doing exactly what it was trained

When I left my marital home, I was a few weeks pregnant. At first, it didn't feel like escaping abuse. I just knew I couldn't keep living this way. The tension I felt, the fear, the constant confusion, something in me finally said, "enough". The feeling of being harrassed didn't stop after I left. In some ways, it got worse. This is the transcript for Episode 4 . But being in a new home and then eventually in another social circle gave me space to breathe and to start seeing

There's a kind of strength that doesn't look like fighting. It looks like letting go. Not giving up, but detaching. If you've ever had to co-parent with someone unpredictable or love a child who needs extra patience, you know how draining it can be to stay emotionally steady. This is the Transcript for Episode 3 . Every reaction, every word, every tone feels like it carries weight. And sometimes you just need to step back to keep your peace. But detachment can be misunderstoo

Narcissistic abuse can leave deep emotional scars. Many survivors feel lost, confused, and unsure of how to move forward. If you are reading this, you may be seeking guidance on your healing journey. You are not alone. This guide aims to provide practical steps and insights to help you reclaim your life and rebuild your sense of self. Understanding Narcissistic Abuse Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological manipulation. It often involves a partner or fami